the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Pooping to opera.
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