Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
