You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
