Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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