Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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