I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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