I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
