Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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