whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
cat food counts as protein by the way
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
