Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
