this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
