Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
