i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The adults are the big ones right?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
