i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
