Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
