I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
