Soap is not a condiment
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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