By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
