Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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