Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
