There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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