That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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