Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
