Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i came on her dog
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
