I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you never un-have a 4some
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize