I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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