my sisters under your porch take her home
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
