About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize