Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
