taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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