i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
