at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
