thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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