In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
