STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
where are you?
Hypothermia
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Are we still banned from the library?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize