My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
one might say we're banned from that church
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
