she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
