NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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