I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
