billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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