haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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