I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
