Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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