i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
