Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
