He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
