he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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