Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
