plz talk dirty to me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
