Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
