It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
