So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
