Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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