Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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