butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
