so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
